The Toxic Avenger Asks “Dear EB”

Dear EB:

I need some advice on how to deal with a toxic person in the workplace. One of my co-workers, "Rob", is kind of a jerk. He is rude and sarcastic when communicating with his teammates and with clients. He only does the work that he likes, and he manipulates others into doing the work he doesn't like. He lies to cover up any of his mistakes and short-comings. In addition to all of this, he considers himself to be the office "prankster." The only problem is, his pranks aren't funny. In fact they are extremely inappropriate and offensive. They typically exploit another person and make them look stupid, while, of course, making him seem superior.

Several attempts have been made to discuss this gentleman's behavior with his immediate supervisor and when that failed, with her immediate supervisor. However, nothing has been done to hold this man accountable for his behavior. In fact, I have a feeling the supervisors aren't taking these issues seriously at all.

I have accepted the fact that this man is not going to change or be fired and that I'm going to have to find a way to accept that until I can find a new job. How should I structure my communications with this man to ensure that I can get what I need from him in order to complete my own assignments? What are some strategies I can employ that will minimize the effects of his horrible attitude on my own morale? What can I do to help boost the morale of the rest of the team who have also been affected negatively by his behavior? 

Thanks in advance,
The Toxic Avenger

Dear Toxic Avenger:
Thank you for writing. Your decision to take positive action by reaching out for suggestions is evidence of your natural leadership. You have chosen to make a difference in a situation where compassionate management is essential. Well done!

In the scenario outlined above, a state of affairs has developed that places a strain on you along with department team members. Consequences may also be felt in the overall business because when relationships are impacted, productivity is delayed, and that drives up costs. Change is required at each level from the individual, to the departmental, and finally the organizational.

During the days ahead, consider that you don't know the full scope of Rob's motivations. There is more than what you see at the office; there may be circumstances outside the workplace that influence his behavior. Additionally, he may be unaware of how deeply his conduct is felt by others.

Take this opportunity to show your desire for mutual respect through your professionalism. Address issues as they arise. Quietly, take Rob aside when there is a workflow matter or inappropriate behavior which directly affects you, and share your concerns or questions. Help him become attuned to the various interpretations and the impact of his actions.

Prepare for your conversation by clarifying your goals. Be specific. What is the desired outcome? Define the dependencies in your mutual work areas, and be prepared to dispassionately and concisely discuss those intersection points. Review the current objective and existing problems without adding blame for past events.

For example: "Today our goal is to improve manufacturing schedule forecasts to support supply management. The current issue is that when required data is not received by the 15^th of the month critical reports are delayed. This holdup forces inconsistent forecasting estimates and therefore manufacturing schedules become challenging for supply management."

Arrange time to meet with Rob, and stay focused on the goal at hand when you do. During the subsequent discussion, take time to listen while keeping an open mind to Rob's responses. Different expectations can evolve into a new arrangement in which the requirements for both parties are acknowledged and can be successfully accomplished. This type of interaction works for teams too. Specific planning discussions often progress into facilitated team sessions to review general workflow, handoffs, and role responsibilities. From here process improvements emerge because the stage is set to share ideas and focus on a common goal.

In the event there is minimal improvement after your meeting with Rob, schedule a private conference with your supervisor. Provide a detailed, yet, neutral account of the problem. The same applies when inappropriate "prankster" behavior occurs. Speak with your supervisors in a timely manner. Do not wait for resentments to fester--deal with issues quickly to eliminate work distractions and prevent frustration.

However, if after bringing the issues forward to leadership, you still find the results unsatisfactory, it is time to ask yourself some tough questions. "Have I done all I can do to improve this situation?" If you answer no, what else is left for you to do? Are you willing to do it? If you decide that you have done your best, define your next steps and take action.

In the meantime, consider how each person individually influences the energy of the workplace. Every word spoken and every action taken creates a far-reaching ripple within the team. These ripples are the responses that either contribute or detract from the essential foundation of mutual respect and trust.

Trust is vital in life and paramount in professional interactions. It is built on credibility and behavior, by demonstrating the expertise required to successfully fulfill the job responsibilities coupled with clear communication skills and considerate conduct. Trust is defined by saying what you mean and doing what you say you'll do -- every time.

We thrive in an environment of trust, where there is a shared vision, transparency, and dedication to a common goal along with a sense of fun. People feel empowered and act accordingly; they are committed to the well-being of their workmates and sustainability of the company.

In this situation you have the chance to build trust and lead the way through change; by recognizing the opportunity, identifying and evaluating potential options, and then taking appropriate action, transformation occurs. You can play a vital role in that process. In summary:

1. Maintain open communication.
2. Define what you need from your teammates and learn what they need from you.
3. Develop shared expectations.
4. Request assistance from management to improve workplace harmony and productivity.
5. Reflect on job satisfaction and decide on your personal course of action.

Wishing you and your team all the best.

Judith Lukomski
Organizational Development and Change Consultant

About our Dear EB author: Judith Lukomski is a recognized change expert who brings a fresh perspective, proven methodologies, and transformational tools to client collaborations. Leveraging best practices and introducing New Dimension™ systems synthesizing logic, intuition, and creativity she delivers original Organizational Design and Readiness solutions for sustainable success. Ms. Lukomski merges practical experience with new business models to facilitate bottom-line success for clients. Building on the principles of shared passion, purpose, and profitability she is dedicated to ensuring a positive future for all!

If your organization is currently experiencing or anticipating changes in leadership, software systems, organizational structure, or any major shift in operations, contact Escoe Bliss (949.336.6444) to find out how our team of experts, like Judith, can help you achieve project success.

Using Your Words: 5 Lessons Your Mom Would Like You to Remember

At a recent Working Wardrobes Leadership Institute event, presenter Vu Pham, Ph.D., CEO of Spectrum Knowledge, gave an interactive and enlightening presentation on Impactful Verbal Communication. Dr. Pham educated the group about why words are so important and discussed the influence that they have in our professional and personal relationships.

This got us thinking, words really are a super power. And with great power comes great responsibility. In 2012, we have many nations in the midst of trying to revive their struggling economies, media is buzzing about the U.S. presidential election, and the world will spend two weeks of the summer watching the London 2012 Olympic Games. Each of these current events is a delicate topic that requires careful and calculated communication choices. 

The way in which leaders, athletes, candidates, and correspondents share information affects our global society. Their words illicit feelings, motivate action (or reaction), and influence ideas and opinions on a large scale. So it only makes sense that their prepared and unprepared statements are scrutinized and debated heavily. It is common practice to analyze the words of those in the media spotlight, because of their public influence. 

Famous or not, every individual has a sphere of influence and though it may be comparatively small, it is certainly not less powerful. Shouldn't we be just as careful and concerned about the messages we are sending to our families, coworkers, and the community? After all, we are defined by our thoughts, beliefs, and feelings and our words are the expression of those things. The power our words have to define us is a very good reason why we should choose them so carefully; we are our words.

Think about your own business or office team. How seriously do you and your coworkers take your word choices when communicating both internally and externally? If your corporate communications came under media scrutiny, would your organization emerge as the inspirational figure with the admiration of millions or as the candidate who let an entire campaign slip through his or her fingers?

Corporate communications can be complicated. There are multiple audiences, with broad differences and interests to consider. Messages are communicated and discussions generated through many different avenues (i.e. meetings, water-cooler discussions, emails, social media, marketing, memos, etc.).

Sometimes the path to success can be found within the simple rules and lessons of life. From the very beginning of development, parents begin teaching children about appropriate and inappropriate communication. In honor of Mother's Day this past Sunday, here are 5 basic rules of communication that would be helpful in any workplace, inspired by the expert on all things good: Mom! 

• Be nice. How many times did our mothers tell us to "be nice"? Moms have a long list of people you should be nice to: your brother or sister, elders, teachers, and your classmates or teammates. If only we could have a Mom recording with us throughout the day at work, imagine how harmoniously teams would work together. Everyone would be listening, sharing, helping, and taking turns. Perhaps it sounds silly, but consider a current challenge your team is experiencing and then break that challenge down to root of the issue. Is the situation stemming from a lack of attention, some selfish behavior, lack of collaboration, or a need to rush things through? Factor "being nice" into the problem and it might not look so bad anymore.
• Be mindful of your "tone" of voice. 
Everyone has those "Na, na, na-na-na," moments, but there's good reason why Moms make a point to discourage this behavior. Author Ira Gassen advises, “Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.” Furthermore, those thoughts are also very likely to become actions. A recent Forbes article on the effects of social media on communication made an important point that, "...only 7% of communication is based on the written or verbal word. A whopping 93% is based on nonverbal body language." People often say far more with tone and body language than they often do with words. Perception is a complex blend of visual and auditory cues, that may include facial expression, stance or movements, and vocal inflection (just to name a few).
• Don't talk to strangers. Moms employ this rule to keep their children safe and protected from others with bad intentions. In a work environment, this rule applies to gossip and respecting the confidentiality of our projects, internal and external clients, and coworkers. We all need to voice opinions from time to time, but it is important to consider who you're sharing with and what information should or should not be discussed with that person. Food for thought from an American journalist, gossip columnist, and author: "If you wouldn't write and sign it, don't say it." ~Earl Wilson
• Speak up. If you have something to say, say it. Moms are not fans of muttering under your breath and certainly would not want us to stand by idly if we could be a part of the solution in any way. Speaking up doesn't mean speaking over, speaking out of line, or speaking to cause a distraction. At work, we need to speak up to support the team, to encourage innovation, and protect company values and ethics. Your constructive thoughts have tremendous value to the success of your organization; don't stifle them.
• Look at me when I'm talking to you. Not only is this one of Mom's favorite lessons, but it is necessary at work too (It is important to note when doing business, that not all societies perceive eye contact as the sign of respect that we do in the U.S.). If you're hoping to effectively and respectfully convey your message, then you must engage your audience. Give your message and your audience the respect they deserve. Look at them and set aside time for the discussion. The attention you give to your message will have a direct correlation to the response you receive.

Ask any Mom what her paramount wish is for her children and she will undoubtedly tell you that it is for their happiness and success. The lessons our mothers taught us as children about respecting the power of our words are lessons that we need to carry with us into all areas of our lives. By using these basic lessons in the office, with clients, and in the community we will build strong, productive business relationships that will result in success. 

Escoe Bliss Professional Resources can provide expert consulting teams for your organization's communication improvement needs, including change management, leadership development, and training & facilitation. Contact us for more information on how we can help at 949.336.6444.

Blogging with Bliss contributor Regina Gormanly is Brand Ambassador & Project Coordinator at Escoe Bliss. She finds her bliss by writing and managing content for Escoe Bliss' social media. Regina's love of learning and communication are the driving forces behind her blogs.

If a picture is worth 1000 words, what’s your current headshot saying about you?

Whether you're a small business owner or are employed by a large company, you know the ever-growing need for websites, social media, business cards, and general marketing correspondence as part of your career or business success plan. It’s absolutely critical that you portray an attractive and well-put-together professional image on any and all interactive outlets where you will be promoting yourself.

If you use LinkedIn or Facebook then you know exactly what it's like to come across someone without a photo – their existence seems dubious and you don’t care to get to know them any better, am I right? Lack of a photo is starkly unprofessional and says the individual couldn't be bothered to make an effort... could they be hiding something?

Of course what’s worse is when a person puts up a bad picture, one that’s outdated, unclear, unflattering, or misrepresentative in some other way. I've actually met people in person who looked nothing like how they portrayed themselves in their online profiles. Not only did I NOT recognize them when we finally were face-to-face, but I formed a professional opinion of them which was not nearly as strong as it could have been. We don’t want that to happen to you.

Put Your Best Face Forward

Your professional photo must sum up everything about you in a five-second glance. In most cases, people who see your headshot haven't met you yet and you want them to trust you enough to do business with you, hire you, or simply get to know you better from your photo. Trust starts with being honest and up-front about the person you are. And while of course there is more to you than a good haircut or well-groomed eyebrows, your initial outer appearance is truly the deciding factor as to whether or not people will feel compelled to get to know you on a deeper level.

In other words: however shallow it seems, image really does have the power to make or break your business networking efforts. People are going to draw instant conclusions about your personality based on the picture they see online, in your brochure, or on your business card. Like it or not, but you better believe it!

Do-It-Yourself vs. Professional Photographer

So does it really matter if you grab your digital camera, stand in front of your dining room wall, smile on the count of three, and put your amateur photography skills to work instead of hiring a photographer?

Well, here’s the scoop - it depends on your goals. There are three main things to consider.

1) If you’re blogging or using social media strictly for fun, then photographing yourself with a basic digital camera is fine.

2) If you use any form of media for business to network with others in your industry, or to facilitate your job search then you must consider a professional photographer with a backdrop, proper lighting, and a high-quality camera. If funds are limited, at least consider a place that can produce passport quality photos. Although most passport photos lack character and can feel like a mug-shot, they’re usually better than in-home staged photos. Passport photo sessions typically only offer one or two shots to choose from.

3) Anyone with a website or who seriously wants to use social media to land a better assignment, impress potential clients or build an online presence, should not settle for anything less than hiring a professional photographer!

Common photo faux-pas that weaken your professional image

• An outdated photo. If it was taken more than ten years ago and you don't recognize yourself in it, don’t post that photo anywhere. Failing to update your picture after significant aging, major weight loss or weight gain, drastic changes in hair styles, or noticeable cosmetic surgery makes an on-looker question your integrity. Are you hiding something or simply embarrassed by the way you look now vs. then?

• An unprofessional photo. If it was taken with a digital camera as you sat at your desk in front of a cluttered shelf, don’t use it. Anything that distracts in your photo makes it unsuitable for professional purposes!
  
• A poor quality photo. A photo that’s blurry, grainy or was taken in poor lighting is no good for your professional image. Same for low-resolution or pixilated images. None of these will print properly on a business card or brochure, nor will they impress people who visit your website.

• You're wearing a distracting and/or unflattering outfit in your photo. Perhaps it's horizontal stripes that emphasize your width or maybe it's a dated look, formal wear, or a swim suit. Anything that leaves people questioning what you have on in the photo is a poor choice of business attire to wear on professional picture day.

• WOMEN - You're not wearing makeup, or your makeup is poorly applied. Distractions are detrimental to your professional image. You want to appear neat, perspiration-free, with clear skin, and tasteful makeup that accentuates your best features. There are many products (including Photoshop!) that will allow you to display a professional photo that puts you in your best light.

• MEN - You’re improperly groomed. Keep in mind your audience or the people you want to connect with. Impeccable grooming is imperative! Men with three-day stubble, a “uni-brow” (eyebrows that nearly connect in the middle) that has no definition or a really bad comb over will instantly suggest that you’re just as unprofessional when it comes to doing business.
  

Selecting a Professional Photographer

If you decide present yourself in the best possible route by hiring a professional photographer, you’ll want to keep several points in mind. First, choose someone with a portfolio you can review in advance. Ask if they will include photo retouching in their price and be sure they will give you high-res (for print) and low-res (for web) photos. You really want a true professional with proper lighting, equipment, and references! Also be sure to ask the photographer for a recommendation for a professional makeup artist, most pros will have someone they work with regularly. This isn’t a deal-breaker. If they don’t have a name for you, head to a reputable makeup counter. There is no point in hiring a photographer if you haven’t been properly made up!

Preparing for Your Photo Shoot

Here are a few important tips to keep in mind on the day of your photo shoot:

• Wear clean, wrinkle-free, well-fitting clothing.
• Do not try a new hair stylist just before a photo shoot.
• Request a morning appointment; most people look fresh & energetic before lunch.
• Bring your outfit to the shoot with you, don’t wear it there.
• Arrive to the shoot 15-20 minutes early.

When it comes to what to wear for your professional photo shoot, it’s more important that you know what to avoid! No busy prints or patterns, nothing shiny, sheer, or lacey. A monochromatic outfit close to your skin tone will wash you out and plunging necklines that show too much cleavage are distracting and inappropriate. If you wear glasses, don’t wear reflective lenses with ½ frames hitting below the eyebrow for your shoot. Choose a full-framed, non-reflective pair instead.

For the best results when it comes to your professional image in a photo and in person, get a consultation with an image expert like KL Moore. Visit KL online where you can view impressive before and after photos in the photo gallery at http://www.klimagegroup.com/.

Copyright KL Image Group 2009