The Replacement Ref Asks "Dear EB"

Dear EB:

I have a co-worker who has a bad habit of interrupting people. At first, she was just interrupting conversations or instructions. It was frustrating, but it wasn't anything that we couldn't simply acknowledge and then go back to the conversation at hand. Also, no one has really been too upset with her as it's quite obvious that she does not realize that she's doing it. However, a few days ago, a few of us noticed that she has started to interrupt people when they are talking to clients. 

Recently, I was meeting with a client to discuss some of the new services I could offer her. I had just finished explaining one of our new services - and when I say just finished, I mean the final word in the sentence had just left my mouth - when she jumped in to remind me about another service we provide. She was not a part of the conversation, but she inserted herself into it nonetheless. I felt fortunate that the client I was working with knew me well and has a lot of respect for me. Had I been meeting with a new client, it's possible that she could have thought that I was not familiar with all of our services and it could have made her less likely to have confidence in me and what I can do for her. A few hours later, I saw her interrupt another co-worker who was meeting with another new client. This co-worker was telling the client about a service package we provide and she interrupted our co-worker mid-sentence to tell this new client about some service options. Again, she was not part of the conversation. The new client actually gave her a harsh look that she seemed to be oblivious to.

This is my problem. I think that this woman genuinely thinks she's helping us out and has absolutely no idea how her behavior is effecting our communication with our clients. Despite her good intentions, we need to figure out some way to address and put an end to the behavior. My boss and I have discussed it and he would like me to talk to her about it. I am not her superior per se, but I am senior to her and in the event of my boss' absence, I am in charge. My boss has told me in the past that he would like to see me get into management, so I think he wants me to take this on in order to give me some conflict resolution experience. Do you have any suggestions on how best to approach this subject with her? 

Sincerely,
The Replacement Ref


Dear Replacement Ref:
You have a few challenges in this situation! First, since you don’t know what your co-worker’s intention is when she is speaking up in these situations, you may be making some assumptions that may or may not be true. Those assumptions could impact the way you interact with her. Second, the fact that nobody has told your co-worker that her behavior is inappropriate, has actually reinforced the bad behavior – that may be why you have seen it expand to more situations. Third, since you are not your co-worker’s superior, feedback may be more difficult for you to give and for her to receive than if you were her boss.

Don’t despair. Even with these challenges, here are some strategies and techniques for you to consider.

Let’s start with the first challenge – intent. When faced with a person behaving in a way we deem “wrong,” it’s helpful to spend some time considering the person’s intent. In this case, let’s imagine what her intent might be when your co-worker interrupts. If we focus on negative reasons, we might include; she wants attention, she thinks she knows more than anyone else, or she wants the client to like her better than her colleagues. If we focus on positive intent, we might include; as you said, she thinks she’s helping, she wants to be part of the team, she wants to be sure the client knows all of the options, or she’s just excited and can’t contain herself. You may have other thoughts about what her intent might be.

When we ascribe negative intent to someone’s behavior, we tend to respond to them in a negative way. On the other hand, when we assume a positive intent, we are more likely to approach our conversation with them in a positive way. So, I recommend you start by imagining a positive intent for your co-worker’s behavior to focus on as you prepare to meet with her.

Now, let’s look at the second challenge. As you indicated, your co-worker probably isn’t aware of her behavior. And, if she is, she certainly is unaware of the impact her interrupting is having on her colleagues and the clients. This is a situation that could call for a couple of strategies. First, you may need to clarify roles, and second, you may need to have a feedback conversation.

While the interrupting is a behavior that is showing up in a variety of settings, let’s look specifically at the client situations. I wonder if your co-worker and you both agree on her role in client meetings? If she doesn’t have a specific role or place on the agenda of the meeting, she won’t know when or how to participate. So, a first conversation might be to clarify roles in an upcoming meeting. That might sound like “In our meeting today, I’ll take the lead role with the client. Your role is to observe and make notes. Also, I would like you to respond with your ideas or thoughts when I ask you if you have additional comments to add to what has been said.” You may find role clarity is all that’s needed to shift her behavior with clients.

The reality, however, is that you are likely to also need a feedback conversation. I say this since the behavior seems to show up frequently and in a variety of situations. The most successful feedback conversations are dialogues rather than one person telling the other what they’ve done wrong. When you can get the person engaged in looking at the situation with you, you increase the odds that she will listen and help identify a solution.

A model I like to use is Observation, Impact, Options, Agreement. Let’s look at how you can use this model for a conversation with your co-worker.

You might start with; “I noticed in our client meeting this morning that you spoke up before I finished what I was saying. Did you notice that too?” (Observation) Wait for her to respond.

Then to continue to engage her, you might ask, “If you were the client, how might you have interpreted the way that interaction went?” (Impact) Your goal is to get her to start thinking about how she is perceived when she interrupts.

You might also say, “I’m sure you don’t intend to cut people off. I wonder if we can identify a positive way for you to contribute to meetings without interrupting.” (Options) Let her share her ideas if she has them. Then you can offer your own. You might say, “May I share an idea with you?” Then, “It would work well for me, if you would wait until I ask you for your input.” Or, “If you have something to share before I ask you, would you wait for me to complete what I am saying before you speak?”

“What will you try in our next meeting?” (Agreement)

As you have acknowledged, the fact that you aren’t your co-worker’s superior is an important factor to consider. Choosing a neutral location for the conversation rather than your office is important to keep her from feeling that you are “bossing” her. Also let her choose the time. You can say, “I’d like to debrief our client meeting with you. When’s a good time for you?” You can also start the meeting with, “What did you think went well about our client meeting this morning.” Then ask “What do you think we should do differently next time?” After she responds to each question, you can add on your thoughts, and that will transition you into the above conversation. Notice how location, timing, and letting her share first all create a more equal playing ground for the conversation.

My final thought is this. Be clear on your intent for this conversation. If you are clear that you want to help your co-worker learn and grow and be successful, you have a much better chance of seeing her change her behavior than if your intent is to put her down, put her in her place, or something else negative!

About Our Dear EB Author: Susan Gerke is an accomplished consultant specializing in facilitation, coaching, and curriculum development. Susan is the co-developer of Go Team Resources, a complete team-training and team building resource.

If your organization is experiencing or anticipating changes in leadership, organizational structure, or any major shift in operations, contact Escoe Bliss (949.336.6444) to find out how our team of experts, like Susan, can help you achieve project success.

Ask Dear EB: Are you experiencing a challenging situation at your workplace and you'd like advice from Dear EB? Just send us an email and an expert Escoe Bliss consultant will respond with helpful and applicable advice via Blogging With Bliss and our next issue of The Insider. We pledge to keep all information anonymous and confidential.

The Toxic Avenger Asks “Dear EB”

Dear EB:

I need some advice on how to deal with a toxic person in the workplace. One of my co-workers, "Rob", is kind of a jerk. He is rude and sarcastic when communicating with his teammates and with clients. He only does the work that he likes, and he manipulates others into doing the work he doesn't like. He lies to cover up any of his mistakes and short-comings. In addition to all of this, he considers himself to be the office "prankster." The only problem is, his pranks aren't funny. In fact they are extremely inappropriate and offensive. They typically exploit another person and make them look stupid, while, of course, making him seem superior.

Several attempts have been made to discuss this gentleman's behavior with his immediate supervisor and when that failed, with her immediate supervisor. However, nothing has been done to hold this man accountable for his behavior. In fact, I have a feeling the supervisors aren't taking these issues seriously at all.

I have accepted the fact that this man is not going to change or be fired and that I'm going to have to find a way to accept that until I can find a new job. How should I structure my communications with this man to ensure that I can get what I need from him in order to complete my own assignments? What are some strategies I can employ that will minimize the effects of his horrible attitude on my own morale? What can I do to help boost the morale of the rest of the team who have also been affected negatively by his behavior? 

Thanks in advance,
The Toxic Avenger

Dear Toxic Avenger:
Thank you for writing. Your decision to take positive action by reaching out for suggestions is evidence of your natural leadership. You have chosen to make a difference in a situation where compassionate management is essential. Well done!

In the scenario outlined above, a state of affairs has developed that places a strain on you along with department team members. Consequences may also be felt in the overall business because when relationships are impacted, productivity is delayed, and that drives up costs. Change is required at each level from the individual, to the departmental, and finally the organizational.

During the days ahead, consider that you don't know the full scope of Rob's motivations. There is more than what you see at the office; there may be circumstances outside the workplace that influence his behavior. Additionally, he may be unaware of how deeply his conduct is felt by others.

Take this opportunity to show your desire for mutual respect through your professionalism. Address issues as they arise. Quietly, take Rob aside when there is a workflow matter or inappropriate behavior which directly affects you, and share your concerns or questions. Help him become attuned to the various interpretations and the impact of his actions.

Prepare for your conversation by clarifying your goals. Be specific. What is the desired outcome? Define the dependencies in your mutual work areas, and be prepared to dispassionately and concisely discuss those intersection points. Review the current objective and existing problems without adding blame for past events.

For example: "Today our goal is to improve manufacturing schedule forecasts to support supply management. The current issue is that when required data is not received by the 15^th of the month critical reports are delayed. This holdup forces inconsistent forecasting estimates and therefore manufacturing schedules become challenging for supply management."

Arrange time to meet with Rob, and stay focused on the goal at hand when you do. During the subsequent discussion, take time to listen while keeping an open mind to Rob's responses. Different expectations can evolve into a new arrangement in which the requirements for both parties are acknowledged and can be successfully accomplished. This type of interaction works for teams too. Specific planning discussions often progress into facilitated team sessions to review general workflow, handoffs, and role responsibilities. From here process improvements emerge because the stage is set to share ideas and focus on a common goal.

In the event there is minimal improvement after your meeting with Rob, schedule a private conference with your supervisor. Provide a detailed, yet, neutral account of the problem. The same applies when inappropriate "prankster" behavior occurs. Speak with your supervisors in a timely manner. Do not wait for resentments to fester--deal with issues quickly to eliminate work distractions and prevent frustration.

However, if after bringing the issues forward to leadership, you still find the results unsatisfactory, it is time to ask yourself some tough questions. "Have I done all I can do to improve this situation?" If you answer no, what else is left for you to do? Are you willing to do it? If you decide that you have done your best, define your next steps and take action.

In the meantime, consider how each person individually influences the energy of the workplace. Every word spoken and every action taken creates a far-reaching ripple within the team. These ripples are the responses that either contribute or detract from the essential foundation of mutual respect and trust.

Trust is vital in life and paramount in professional interactions. It is built on credibility and behavior, by demonstrating the expertise required to successfully fulfill the job responsibilities coupled with clear communication skills and considerate conduct. Trust is defined by saying what you mean and doing what you say you'll do -- every time.

We thrive in an environment of trust, where there is a shared vision, transparency, and dedication to a common goal along with a sense of fun. People feel empowered and act accordingly; they are committed to the well-being of their workmates and sustainability of the company.

In this situation you have the chance to build trust and lead the way through change; by recognizing the opportunity, identifying and evaluating potential options, and then taking appropriate action, transformation occurs. You can play a vital role in that process. In summary:

1. Maintain open communication.
2. Define what you need from your teammates and learn what they need from you.
3. Develop shared expectations.
4. Request assistance from management to improve workplace harmony and productivity.
5. Reflect on job satisfaction and decide on your personal course of action.

Wishing you and your team all the best.

Judith Lukomski
Organizational Development and Change Consultant

About our Dear EB author: Judith Lukomski is a recognized change expert who brings a fresh perspective, proven methodologies, and transformational tools to client collaborations. Leveraging best practices and introducing New Dimension™ systems synthesizing logic, intuition, and creativity she delivers original Organizational Design and Readiness solutions for sustainable success. Ms. Lukomski merges practical experience with new business models to facilitate bottom-line success for clients. Building on the principles of shared passion, purpose, and profitability she is dedicated to ensuring a positive future for all!

If your organization is currently experiencing or anticipating changes in leadership, software systems, organizational structure, or any major shift in operations, contact Escoe Bliss (949.336.6444) to find out how our team of experts, like Judith, can help you achieve project success.

The Equal Opportunity Advocate Asks "Dear EB"

Dear EB:

I have a coworker who's incredibly smart and talented, and really wants to contribute as much as she can to the rest of the team. A lot of the times, this means that she does the most talking in meetings and brainstorming sessions, effectively removing the chance for any other team members to contribute their ideas and have their voice heard. It's getting to the point where it's having an adverse effect on the growth of the team, and so I'm wondering, what is a good way to bring more balance to the contributions in order to allow other team members' voices to be heard?

Sincerely,
The Equal Opportunity Advocate


Dear Equal Opportunity Advocate:

Your question certainly brings back similar times for me working with peers—feeling “caught” in situations where others’ or my ideas are being blocked from being aired. It does not matter on over-contributors’ intents—their actions are blocking good, great, or perhaps the best ideas from being shared and therefore positively affecting results.

First, I commend you on wanting to take action. Too many times, I have witnessed the same behavior on intact work teams. Instead of taking positive action, the team members attempt to fix or control the over-contributor and then the team members become even more frustrated that their efforts did not magically work.

In situations like this one, you can choose between two separate approaches or instead opt for a combination approach. The best approach will depend on the people you work with and the dynamics of the group. The direct approach would be to address the over-contributor in a personal, one-to-one manner. In a different team dynamic, it may be best to reach out to a team leader in a private meeting where you can voice your concern and propose a resolution.

When I experience counter-productive situations with peers, I try to remember something one of my past leaders told me: assume positive intent. At times the pace of work and stress can be high and I even fail by acting hastily before taking some time for reflection—we are human. I then remember to take a pause and try to reflect on why the person chose to act the way that I observed. Speaking from my experience, it typically comes down to the fact that others have allowed the behavior to go on for so long in the work environment combined with the person, in your case the over-contributor, receiving continuous, positive reinforcement.

Following the first path, consider how the over-contributor tends to receive feedback based on past situations. Does she tend to be open to listening and taking in feedback? Does she tend to become defensive? How would she react if you approached her one-to-one outside of earshot of others in your work environment and you asked, “I see we have an upcoming brainstorming meeting—do you have a minute to chat?”

If you take the lead to approach her, then what has worked for me is to frame the conversation from your experience and impact on you, and possibly others. For example, in a very calm, relaxed facial, and open body posture, you might say, “I know that we are going to brainstorm new system processes changes. During past brainstorming sessions, I notice that based on your knowledge and past experience, you always have much to offer. However, at times, I can see that not all the other voices, mine included, are being heard, which then influences our teaming and ownership on the new changes. I was wondering how we could resolve this so that while you get your ideas out, we all also get the opportunity to express at least one of our ideas aloud for discussion. What are your thoughts?”

Be prepared—as she may challenge you for examples. Be factual by briefly stating a few actual observations you experienced from a most recent meeting. For example, “When we were discussing a resolution on addressing the data results from last quarter, you were the first to speak and shared your full list of eight ideas before anyone else had an opportunity to share. When it came time for others to chime in, nothing was shared.” Direct the conversation towards working on a solution where everyone knows they'll have the opportunity to share.

If you decide not to take the direct path and/or you do and it does not work the way you intended, you should directly address your team leader. In fact, your team leader should be stepping up to create the environment where all ideas are brought out “on the table” from everyone—even those who typically might be reticent to speaking up at meetings—as you never know who might offer an even better approach or an enhancement.

From what I can infer from your question, and my experience, teams tend to forget that they need expectations set for all meeting types—they assume that everyone knows. I would approach your leader in the same fashion I shared for the over-contributor, for example, you could say, “Before we are in the scheduled brainstorming meeting—do you have a minute to chat?” During your meeting, you can open the discussion with, “I would like to suggest that we establish team expectations for all brainstorming meeting sessions. For example, we have 11 on our team. We should be told that we must come prepared with at least one—the more the better—idea to address the new system processes changes. At the meeting, everyone needs to share their one idea before we go back around to the first person. Preferably, we should start discussing either randomly or with the person who tends to be quiet. We never know who might have a part of the solution. What are your thoughts?”

At this point, your leader might open the discussion to possibly accept what you are suggesting as well as ask you what actually transpired to nudge you to make this suggestion. Again, focus on your positive intent—wanting to build team camaraderie and explore all potential solutions. Do not use the discussion to throw the over-contributor “under-the-bus”. Instead, focus on facts of your experience from past meetings, such as, “Well, in the last meeting on addressing the data results from last quarter, Karen began and ended the discussion by sharing eight ideas before anyone else had an opportunity to share—and therefore be heard and validated.”

As previously stated, addressing behavioral situations that impact productivity on a peer-to-peer basis can be very challenging. However, you owe it to yourself to help create a productive team environment—plus you are now practicing an important skill required for all effective team leaders. Your best direction between which path to take depends on the affability of the over-contributor and the level of comfort you have in your work relationship with her.

Good luck to you and your team as you move forward!

Robert Gasdick
Training Delivery & Design Consultant

About Our Dear EB Author: Robert Gasdick has 26 years of progressive experience in the banking-related industry and human resources. As an external consultant/trainer he facilitates courses in areas such as leadership, management, communication, conflict resolution, change, presentation skills and business writing.

Escoe Bliss is proud to count Mr. Gasdick among our team of talented consultants. Please contact us to learn how we can provide your company with customized training solutions.

Ask Dear EB: Are you experiencing a challenging situation at your workplace and you'd like advice from Dear EB? Just send us an email and an expert Escoe Bliss consultant will respond with helpful and applicable advice via Blogging With Bliss and our next issue of The Insider. We pledge to keep all information anonymous and confidential.

Connecting the Dots Between "Talented People...Exceptional Service"

If you've seen the home page of our website, our email signature or brand documents, two of the first things you will notice are our company name and motto. Our motto, "Talented People...Exceptional Service," does a great job of summing up who we are and what we do. What about the three dots in between? Those three dots are a quiet yet integral part of the Escoe Bliss brand and motto. They represent the communication and development that take a group of talented people and pull them together into a team that believes in and applies exceptional service every day to everyone the members interact with. Escoe Bliss doesn't have a patent on talented people. Talent is all around us. Talented people are reading this blog, sitting in your offices and conference rooms, and buying your products or services. 

The Escoe Bliss consulting team effectively connects the dots between your people and your service, whether internal or external. Our experts know the importance of each of those three dots, what they mean for your company, and how to transform a pool of talented people into an exceptional and engaged team.

This year the core team at Escoe Bliss headquarters is connecting our dots by utilizing an external, trusted strategic partner to facilitate continued team development and growth. Go Team consists of distinct training modules that can be employed precisely when they're needed -- a just-in-time program. The team can choose which modules will be most beneficial at any given time. We might start with a Setup for Success module (operational guidelines, purpose, goals, or roles), or push the team in areas of opportunity using a See You at the Top module (building trust, sharing leadership, managing change). There are modules that deal with ongoing challenges (communication, decision making, conflict resolution, and more). The program consists of eighteen modules in all, and you can repeat whenever and wherever needed.

To date, we have completed Getting Grounded in Team Basics, Establishing Team Purpose and Goals, and Building Team Trust modules. Each one has done an extraordinary job at leading our team toward thoughtful discussion and has helped create some very relevant outcomes for our current and future business needs and goals. Dedicating just a small amount of our time to the modules has yielded an enormous benefit. For detailed descriptions of the modules and helpful ideas for where your team can start, visit the Go Team website. If you'd like to hear more about our Go Team successes, why we can't wait for our next session, or to learn how to incorporate this custom training solution into your team building call or email us.

Blogging with Bliss contributor Regina Gormanly is Brand Ambassador & Project Coordinator at Escoe Bliss. She finds her bliss by writing and managing content for Escoe Bliss' social media. Regina's love of learning and communication are the driving forces behind her blogs.

The Expert Brainstorm with Diane Spiegel

This month Diane Spiegel explains her philosophy about the important role generational differences play in training and development.


Why do you feel it is so important for leaders to create an age-friendly work environment?

The short answer is that we need each other in so many ways! Traditionalists and Baby Boomers, the most mature in the workforce, have knowledge, patience, and the wisdom that often comes with years of experience. The youngest workers, Gen Y/Millennials, have a new perspective that is tuned into efficiencies and how to do things faster and easier. As digital natives, they can tech-multi-task and obtain information in seconds. The Gen Xers have brought the concept of work-life balance that many are not willing to negotiate. Gen Xers are also in their prime child bearing and rearing years and do not want to miss out on their kids' events, like so many of their parents did as they were very busy working. So, we all need what the others bring and those organizations that provide opportunities for generational and knowledge sharing in an atmosphere of support and trust will successfully emerge as the impact of the multi-generations is felt in companies all over the world.

With so many generations working side by side in today’s workplace, what are some of the most notable generational differences between Traditionalists (1900-1945), Baby Boomers (1946-1964), Gen Xers (1965-1980), and Gen Y/Millennials (1981-1999)?

The most notable is the concept of work ethic. Traditionalists are noted for their commitment to getting the work done with no whining! They were thankful to have jobs and felt that all work had honor and dignity when the job was done well. Gen Y/Millennials have taken a lot of criticism about work ethic as it appears to some that they don’t have it. They do have it, but their first line of thought is how can they efficiently and quickly get the work done using all of their great social media and Internet connections. They look for ways to streamline. Gen Xers were the first to come up with the term “work-life balance” and the GenY/Millennials have followed in their path. Both of these generations have the ability and skills to multi-task and they work and play in a woven format. Traditionalists, and to some extent Baby Boomers, viewed work as something that occurred from 8-5 and work was work and leisure time was just that. Our work has shown that Gen Y/Millennials as well as Gen Xers toggle back and forth between work and non-work activities. This shifting represents a new paradigm that the two dimensions (work and leisure) can co-exist if you have the tools and skills to integrate your day.

Based on your philosophy of first understanding generational differences and then using this understanding to engage employees in productive conversations, what are the first steps a management team can take to begin this process of understanding?

I believe it’s very important to first understand why each generation is shaped as it is and how these common experiences have impacted attributes and characteristics. Generational differences in the workplace are not a new topic. Karl Mannheim, considered to be the grandfather of generational research, defined a generation as a group of individuals of similar ages whose members have experiences and noteworthy events within a set period of time. In 1950, Karl Mannheim’s sociological theory said that when a group of people shares a common birth period they are cemented by significant events and social changes during that period. The events become a part of an individual’s identity and influence that person’s views on the world but also impact the attitudes, beliefs, and perceptions of all persons born in that time period to create a collective generational perspective.

When time is invested in understanding the differences, and people are provided the opportunity to discuss, share, and collaborate on ways in which the best of what each one brings to the workplace can be leveraged, everyone wins.

GenY/Millennials are sometimes labeled as having an entitlement mindset. While there are some obvious drawbacks about an entitlement attitude, are there potentially some positive qualities that accompany this mindset? 

Gen Y/Millennials do not see themselves as entitled, they just know what they know! Because of this, they often bring a confidence to their work that has taken other generations many years to embrace. Their mostly Baby Boomer parents have viewed the relationship with their offspring in a very different manner. Traditionalists raised their Boomer kids with the idea that “children are seen and not heard." Boomers shifted that mindset and put “Baby on Board” stickers on their cars indicating how precious and important was their cargo. Gen Y/Millennials have grown up believing they can because their parents, teachers, coaches, and counselors reflected the idea that you can be who you want to be, that what you have to say matters, and that you are special and important.

In your current engagement of designing a custom leadership program for an EB client, what has been the contributing factor(s) to the success of this project? 

From the beginning we have had the buy-in from the top of the organization, as they are clear that leadership development is key to future success. As a traditional organization, with a lot of tribal knowledge invested in their Baby Boomer population, they are aware of the potential brain drain that can occur, and as they invest in all levels of leadership, they are preparing the organization for a successful succession.

The department director has allowed the design team to be creative, out-of-the-box, and very innovative! No idea is a bad idea has been our motto. The results have been excellent! Participants have responded positively to a more experiential learning approach, where they are doing and interacting more of the time than in the traditional lecture approach. We are also using a variety of methods for engagement such as the virtual team. This team comes with an array of employees who represent some of the challenges that managers are faced with and they discuss in a safe environment how they would handle difficult conversations and what coaching and mentoring might look and sound like as they practice. To keep things exciting, some of these virtual team members come to life as the Learning & OD team takes on role play and becomes these employees, allowing participants to experience what a conversation might be like with a live actor.

What is your life’s motto? 

Listen when others speak. Seems simple, right? We do this all the time, or do we? Do we really HEAR what others say? Are we really paying attention or thinking ahead about our own list of things to do? All of us want to be heard and to know that what we say matters. In our super busy world we are often emotionally dismissed and left with that “whatever” feeling; it’s all transactional and makes no difference.

I try, though it can be tough, to listen when others talk. What are they saying? What are they not saying? What do they really have in mind? Do they just want to share, or do they need input, or most importantly, validation? Listen in. REALLY listen. You’ll be amazed at what you learn!

Any words of wisdom that our readers can put into practice today?

"We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.” Anais Nin

It’s challenging to see things as others see them, but when we try to stand in the other people's shoes and look out from their vantage point, we gain an understanding of their perspective. It’s so easy to become wrapped up in our own ways and thoughts that we don’t allow enough mental space to see what others see.

Escoe Bliss is fortunate to count Diane Spiegel among our team of expert consultants! Be on the look out later this year as her new book will be available for purchase! The Gen Y Handbook: Applying Relationship Leadership to Engage Millennials will provide readers with a solid prospective of the Gen Y mindset and show how to successfully engage this generation of employees to produce and achieve. In the meantime, Ms. Spiegel will continue providing custom training and development solutions. For more information on Sage Leadership Tools and multi-generational leadership development for your business contact Escoe Bliss at 949.336.6444. 

Using Your Words: 5 Lessons Your Mom Would Like You to Remember

At a recent Working Wardrobes Leadership Institute event, presenter Vu Pham, Ph.D., CEO of Spectrum Knowledge, gave an interactive and enlightening presentation on Impactful Verbal Communication. Dr. Pham educated the group about why words are so important and discussed the influence that they have in our professional and personal relationships.

This got us thinking, words really are a super power. And with great power comes great responsibility. In 2012, we have many nations in the midst of trying to revive their struggling economies, media is buzzing about the U.S. presidential election, and the world will spend two weeks of the summer watching the London 2012 Olympic Games. Each of these current events is a delicate topic that requires careful and calculated communication choices. 

The way in which leaders, athletes, candidates, and correspondents share information affects our global society. Their words illicit feelings, motivate action (or reaction), and influence ideas and opinions on a large scale. So it only makes sense that their prepared and unprepared statements are scrutinized and debated heavily. It is common practice to analyze the words of those in the media spotlight, because of their public influence. 

Famous or not, every individual has a sphere of influence and though it may be comparatively small, it is certainly not less powerful. Shouldn't we be just as careful and concerned about the messages we are sending to our families, coworkers, and the community? After all, we are defined by our thoughts, beliefs, and feelings and our words are the expression of those things. The power our words have to define us is a very good reason why we should choose them so carefully; we are our words.

Think about your own business or office team. How seriously do you and your coworkers take your word choices when communicating both internally and externally? If your corporate communications came under media scrutiny, would your organization emerge as the inspirational figure with the admiration of millions or as the candidate who let an entire campaign slip through his or her fingers?

Corporate communications can be complicated. There are multiple audiences, with broad differences and interests to consider. Messages are communicated and discussions generated through many different avenues (i.e. meetings, water-cooler discussions, emails, social media, marketing, memos, etc.).

Sometimes the path to success can be found within the simple rules and lessons of life. From the very beginning of development, parents begin teaching children about appropriate and inappropriate communication. In honor of Mother's Day this past Sunday, here are 5 basic rules of communication that would be helpful in any workplace, inspired by the expert on all things good: Mom! 

• Be nice. How many times did our mothers tell us to "be nice"? Moms have a long list of people you should be nice to: your brother or sister, elders, teachers, and your classmates or teammates. If only we could have a Mom recording with us throughout the day at work, imagine how harmoniously teams would work together. Everyone would be listening, sharing, helping, and taking turns. Perhaps it sounds silly, but consider a current challenge your team is experiencing and then break that challenge down to root of the issue. Is the situation stemming from a lack of attention, some selfish behavior, lack of collaboration, or a need to rush things through? Factor "being nice" into the problem and it might not look so bad anymore.
• Be mindful of your "tone" of voice. 
Everyone has those "Na, na, na-na-na," moments, but there's good reason why Moms make a point to discourage this behavior. Author Ira Gassen advises, “Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.” Furthermore, those thoughts are also very likely to become actions. A recent Forbes article on the effects of social media on communication made an important point that, "...only 7% of communication is based on the written or verbal word. A whopping 93% is based on nonverbal body language." People often say far more with tone and body language than they often do with words. Perception is a complex blend of visual and auditory cues, that may include facial expression, stance or movements, and vocal inflection (just to name a few).
• Don't talk to strangers. Moms employ this rule to keep their children safe and protected from others with bad intentions. In a work environment, this rule applies to gossip and respecting the confidentiality of our projects, internal and external clients, and coworkers. We all need to voice opinions from time to time, but it is important to consider who you're sharing with and what information should or should not be discussed with that person. Food for thought from an American journalist, gossip columnist, and author: "If you wouldn't write and sign it, don't say it." ~Earl Wilson
• Speak up. If you have something to say, say it. Moms are not fans of muttering under your breath and certainly would not want us to stand by idly if we could be a part of the solution in any way. Speaking up doesn't mean speaking over, speaking out of line, or speaking to cause a distraction. At work, we need to speak up to support the team, to encourage innovation, and protect company values and ethics. Your constructive thoughts have tremendous value to the success of your organization; don't stifle them.
• Look at me when I'm talking to you. Not only is this one of Mom's favorite lessons, but it is necessary at work too (It is important to note when doing business, that not all societies perceive eye contact as the sign of respect that we do in the U.S.). If you're hoping to effectively and respectfully convey your message, then you must engage your audience. Give your message and your audience the respect they deserve. Look at them and set aside time for the discussion. The attention you give to your message will have a direct correlation to the response you receive.

Ask any Mom what her paramount wish is for her children and she will undoubtedly tell you that it is for their happiness and success. The lessons our mothers taught us as children about respecting the power of our words are lessons that we need to carry with us into all areas of our lives. By using these basic lessons in the office, with clients, and in the community we will build strong, productive business relationships that will result in success. 

Escoe Bliss Professional Resources can provide expert consulting teams for your organization's communication improvement needs, including change management, leadership development, and training & facilitation. Contact us for more information on how we can help at 949.336.6444.

Blogging with Bliss contributor Regina Gormanly is Brand Ambassador & Project Coordinator at Escoe Bliss. She finds her bliss by writing and managing content for Escoe Bliss' social media. Regina's love of learning and communication are the driving forces behind her blogs.

The Eight Traits of Successful Leadership

Leadership means different things to different people. There are different leadership styles, approaches, and methods as well as differences among cultures and countries. When we get right down to the heart of the matter, leadership is a motivating way of interacting with people that inspires responsibility and commitment.

We have been blessed with many leadership lessons throughout the ages from biblical figures to U.S. presidents to military icons, and there are common characteristics that all great leaders possess.

Successful leaders genuinely care about others and are passionately motivated to make a positive difference in people's lives. They understand it is not about their own personal advancement and they put others first. They have the ability and desire to remove themselves from the equation and focus on people, purpose, and cause. Did Martin Luther King Jr. have a dream for himself? No. He stood for justice, peace, and righteousness for all.

Strong leaders are visionary. They have the ability to passionately articulate their visions in a way that makes others want to get involved. Passion is contagious.

What other characteristics do strong leaders share? Take a moment to reflect on someone you know who is a successful leader. What makes that person successful? Do you see the following traits?

Leadership Traits

1. Discipline. Strong leaders have the discipline to focus on the vision and direct the actions of their teams toward a specific goal. Action is the mark of a leader. A strong leader is always doing something in pursuit of the vision and inspiring others to do the same.

2. Integrity. Leaders who possess integrity do not veer from their inner values and therefore can be trusted to act consistently regardless of the situation. Building trust is a key trait of successful leaders.

3. Dedication. Successful leaders inspire dedication by walking the talk and leading by example. They do whatever it takes to complete the next step toward the vision and they set expectations for others to do the same. Setting an excellent example demonstrates the kind of behavior that creates dedicated teams who achieve great things.

4. Fairness. There are two aspects of this trait; giving credit where credit is due and dealing with people in a consistent manner. Successful leaders purposefully spread recognition as widely as possible to ensure everyone involved receives credit. A good leader also checks all the facts before reaching a decision to avoid leaping to conclusions based on incomplete evidence. When people feel they are treated fairly, they reward a leader with loyalty and dedication.

5. Approachability. Successful leaders listen to and encourage new ideas. They suspend judgment and accept new ways of doing things to build mutual respect and trust, and capture new ideas that can advance a vision.

6. Creativity. The most important question a leader can ask is, "What if …?" and then be open to a plethora of ideas that may ensue. Creativity is not just an innate ability that few people possess. Creativity is the ability to open the minds of others and let the possibilities flow to find new and innovative ways to reach goals.

7. Sense of Humor. This is vital to relieve tension, boredom, and defuse hostility. Effective leaders know how to use humor to energize their people. Humor is a form of power that provides some control over the work environment and fosters good camaraderie.

8. Continuous Improvement. Successful leaders are always looking for new ways to learn, grow themselves and their people, and find new ways of doing things more efficiently. They are life-long learners who know their primary role is to teach.

Woodrow Wilson said it best when he said, "You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself (and others) if you forget the errand."

Continuous learning and sharing enables effective leadership. People don't have to agree with you, but they do need to feel you're willing to share what you've learned to support their development and participation in a shared vision and journey to success.

General Electric's CEO Jeff Immelt has a checklist of 'Things Leaders Do' that he uses to teach up-and-coming leaders at GE. Topping that list is the ability to "like" people. Jeff states, "Today, it's employment at will. Nobody's here who doesn't want to be here. So, it's critical to understand people, to always be fair, and to want the best in them. And when it doesn't work, they need to know it's not personal." 

Summary

The hallmark of leadership is genuinely caring about others. Helping people grow, reach established goals, and acquire a sense of personal accomplishment and satisfaction are the keys to successful leadership that builds on a foundation of continuous learning and sharing. Effective corporate leadership is achieved through developing the ability to understand what drives individuals to take specific actions, and the skills to create opportunities for them to meet personal and organizational needs at the same time.

The following resources are chock-full of research-based information for those who want to lean more.

• Bass & Stogdill's Handbook of Leadership by Bernard M. Bass. There are hardbound and Kindle versions of this book for less than $100. 
• The Art and Science of Leadership

Blogging with Bliss contributor and EB consultant, Peggy Rang, MS.Ed, is an accomplished executive coach, certified trainer, instructional designer and distinguished speaker. She is the president and senior consultant of Rang Training and Consulting where she provides business coaching and training services for organizations looking to improve performance and increase talent retention.

Escoe Bliss Professional Resources will provide your organization with the expert consultation it needs to build successful leadership. Please contact us if we can partner with you on your leadership and training needs.

Preparing for the e-Learning Consultant’s Arrival

It's Monday morning, and you're staring at the stack of candidate resumes you received from Escoe Bliss. You had no doubt they would find you e-learning consultants with the skills needed for your first e-learning project. Before you pick up the resume at the top of the stack, you're wondering: What will the consultant need to get the job done?

Every project is different, and it's important to have coffee, chocolate, and restroom facilities available. And, of course, you'll need to have the tools for developing and delivering the online courses, subjects I'll cover in future blog posts.

However, there are some things I've learned from experience that you can put in place for the consultant before she or he arrives at your site. In this blog post, I'm going to cover these topics:

• Learning Organization Leaders
  
• Subject Matter Experts
  
• Executive ("C") Level Sponsors

Learning Organization Leaders

Partner closely with your organization's training department. These departments can fall under an alphabet soup of different names, but they carry the torch for all learning and workplace performance activities in your organization. Make sure you have a tenured staff person from your learning organization to serve as the "go-to" expert, or liaison, for the consultant. He or she will need an ally who can smooth out the bumps that come up during the project.

Subject Matter Experts (SMEs)

An e-learning consultant relies on SMEs like we rely on oxygen. From my experience, SMEs openly share their knowledge on the course topic. They're usually glad to be in the company of someone who cares about their expertise and wants to pick their brains for the details needed for specific learning objectives.

The reality is, especially over this last year-and-a-half, SMEs are now performing the work of two-to-three colleagues (who were laid off) and have multiple projects on their work plates. They're "slammed", short on time to get their job done, and still have a nice annual performance review with a variety of other objectives that they are focused on meeting. Therefore, it's important for you and the SME's manager to give the SME permission to spend time with the e-learning consultant. Add some type of reward and recognition, and your project will soar to success.

Executive ("C") Level Sponsor

A couple of times, I worked on some e-learning projects where the primary project sponsor was at the V.P. level. The V.P. attended most of our project team meetings, and was a signature to sign off on the course at every review cycle. We had clear communications with the V.P. When we were about to deploy the course, the team presented it online to the one who signed everyone's check, an E.V.P. over the V.P.'s area. The result was a somewhat major revision of the course that delayed deployment for about two weeks.

So, unless you are 100% certain of your C-level executive sponsor's role, bring her or him to the project table very early on to understand and manage expectations. On another project, we brought the E.V.P. in at our brainstorming stage (the high-level detail design document phase) and we received excellent feedback that framed the direction of our development, and also a hearty "well done" after deployment.

Finally, feel free to prepare in other ways. Find out if the consultant prefers coffee, tea, or water; likes or doesn't like dark chocolate; and make sure his or her computer systems are all set up and ready to go the morning of that first day. Finally, a warm and welcoming attitude will win you a dedicated colleague.

How Escoe Bliss Can Help You

With over 15 years of leadership in consulting and workforce learning and performance, the professionals at Escoe Bliss have a large database of local talent at their fingertips. They can quickly assess your needs for an e-learning consultant, and work within your organization's budget. They can find the talent who will help you bring your e-learning project to successful completion. Escoe Bliss prides itself on our active and hands-on facilitation throughout the life-cycle of your project. We pledge to follow-up with our clients and our consultants by making regular quality checks from the time your project rolls out, until the time your project wraps up.

Jenise Cook, M.A., is our featured guest blogger for 2010. Her posts will appear monthly on Blogging with Bliss. Her professionalism and passion for her work in documentation design, e-learning development, and media production radiate from her writing and we consider ourselves extremely fortunate to count her among our guest bloggers. This is the third blog in Jenise's series on e-learning. Jenise's blogs on Why Use an e-Learning Consultant? and What to Look for in an e-Learning Consultant are the first of her series.

Taking Performance Issues Beyond the Training Quick Fix - Part II

When we last spoke, our topic was performance improvement. In that discussion we were building an action plan by asking strategic questions to fully understand performance issues. In asking those questions we reflected on training as a way to lead a horse to water. Thirst is one motivating factor that moves the horse. Communication and trust are other important factors influencing the process.

Improving performance demands that we not only look at people but also at the environment in which they work. Our current economy affects business in different ways and talent management is something we must tie directly into performance plans.

Have you considered how the recession is affecting employee motivation, communication and trust? Recent survey results published in Training and Development magazine indicate that 54% of the workforce is likely to look for new jobs once the economy turns around (ASTD, Jan. 2010, p. 27). This includes the employees you believe to be your high performers. You may be thinking -- if these individuals are doing well, why would they consider leaving?

There may be many contributing factors. The recession is taking a toll on everyone. Employees are feeling overworked, under-appreciated and/or poorly compensated. Your high performers are burning out. Some high performing employees have been unsatisfied prior to the recession and are quietly waiting for job opportunities to open up again. These individuals have adapted to challenges introduced by economic conditions and have the skills that will make them competitive in a growing job market.

My uncle told me, "A cowboy ain't nothin' without his horse." That is not to say that people are horses. The horse however represents an important set of skills and tools necessary for improved performance. Your employees influence and drive the leadership of your organizational performance success. Looking at the collective data influencing performance is much like the cowboy driving cattle. The goal is to influence the leaders of the herd; the rest will follow. Moreover, the horse is the tool to influence that performance. A cowboy needs to take care of that horse just as employers need to take care of their employee skills.

Reflecting on this discussion allows us to think about how we equip our employees during this recession. My grandfather also believed that the best preparation for tomorrow is the proper use of today. This is the best advice I can share as we strive to survive and thrive in this economy. With the attrition challenge eminently upon us, it is important to start planning today. Keep your high performers engaged and moving the organization forward. Re-evaluate motivational issues by adding strategic questions to your 5-W list (in my last blog). By including this aspect of talent management in your performance improvement initiatives, your employees will be more motivated to stay with your organization as the economy begins to recover.

Our guest blogger, Peggy Rang, M.Ed., is a Training and Performance Improvement Consultant.